Befriending the postpartum body, featuring Elizabeth Capps
As I write this post, my son is a little over three months old. So while I am a very new mama, it feels like the perfect time to reflect on the fourth trimester. I will be exploring ways to befriend and support the postpartum body in this post, and I’ve invited doula and yoga instructor Elizabeth Capps to share her recommendations for how to move the body lovingly postpartum.
Before we get started, I want to offer my intentions for writing about this experience as a therapist:
I bring my whole humanity into this work, so I want to be transparent to the other mamas out there that I am in the trenches with you!
I’m committed to both practicing and offering coping skills for this tender yet tumultuous time
And I am dedicated to sharing an embodied, joyful way to move through motherhood — starting with postpartum
THE UNCERTAINTY OF POSTPARTUM
Within the excitement of welcoming a new baby is a swirl of uncertainty when it comes to the postpartum experience. Many mamas wonder things like — how will I feel? How will healing go? Will I have enough help? How will my relationship fare? Will I bond with my baby right away?
And as a society that focuses oh, so much on bodily appearance — many mamas also wonder: will I be able to accept my postpartum body?
MAKING SENSE OF CHILDBIRTH & A CHANGED BODY
While holding a snuggly newborn is such a sacred experience, many women contend with 1) processing their birth and what their bodies went through, and 2) making sense of how their bodies have changed in the aftermath of pregnancy. The first part — processing the birth — can be especially challenging for many women. Some estimate that up to 45% of mamas experience birth trauma, others estimate that 1 in 3 mamas report feeling traumatized by their childbirth experience. These figures are staggering. For the mamas who experience birth trauma, there is already a lack of safety in the body. Pile on the lack of safety that is felt when judgments about the body arise — and that’s a lot to handle mentally and emotionally (on top of the demands of motherhood).
Regardless of whether you’ve experienced birth trauma, a lot of changes have occurred in the body! And realistically, making sense of these changes can range from being disorienting to devastating.
DEVELOPING INTERNAL SAFETY IS A CRUCIAL LIFE SKILL
This is the cornerstone of my work as a therapist, since so many of us struggle to establish internal safety. Inner safety allows for healing, full body experiencing, presence, pleasure, connection, intimacy, joy. Basically all of the juicy things that makes life delightful!
When we feel unsafe, we are more likely to numb out and indulge in escapism. We are likely to detach from our own inner wisdom and intuition. We are at risk for a damaging inner dialogue, which can result in low self-esteem, lack of self-trust, anxiety, and depression.
It’s estimated that 1 in 7 women get diagnosed with postpartum depression (PPD). However, up to 50% of cases remain undiagnosed due to the stigma. Feeling at odds with our bodies is an isolating experience. There are many contributing factors to PPD, but struggling with body image can certainly contribute to this condition.
Postpartum is an especially vulnerable time for women — it has the potential to be sacred, tender, beautiful. But it can also trigger old coping mechanisms (such as: a punishing mindset towards the body, disordered eating, negative thought loops). And as a new mama, I get it. If these words are resonating with you, you’re in good company. My birth (while not traumatic) did not go as expected, and I struggled to accept parts of my body in the days and weeks after my son was born.
But I also knew that I needed to be intentional about how to befriend her, that it was absolutely vital for my physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. I knew that there was an urgency to making sure my body, in all its in-between states, continued to feel safe with me.
How to practice making our bodies feel safe:
RESIST THE COMPARISON TRAP
None of us are immune to being impacted by what we see on social media. Bounce-back culture and the “belly-only pregnancy” trend continue to put emphasis on a woman’s appearance after birth — side-stepping her overall health. With this in mind, it’s crucial that we recognize comparison as a trap (a thief of joy, as some say).
Conduct an inventory of what content you’re digesting each day. Liberally unfollow accounts. Get curious about your screen time. And I fully understand that screen time can be hard to limit when you’re nap-trapped and feeding/nursing — but consider ways to make sure your precious, impressionable mind is protected. (Audiobooks can be a great option!)
GET CLEAR ON YOUR VALUES
When we are consuming a steady diet of other people’s pictures, thoughts, and ideas — it can be difficult to stay connected to our own values. Instead, we are at risk of being convinced of other people’s values (or worse, the values portrayed through marketing and advertising). Take some time to unplug and consider: what is important and meaningful to you postpartum? What kind of mama do you want to be? What kind of example do you want to show your kid(s)? When do you feel most spiritually connected?
ESTABLISH (AND HOLD) BOUNDARIES WITH YOURSELF
I like to think of boundaries with ourselves as an important prerequisite to holding healthy boundaries with others. For instance, let’s say you’ve gotten into the habit of judging your postpartum body. This goes against the goal of creating safety and trust — so you set a boundary that you won’t tolerate being treated that way. When you (inevitably) slip into the habit again, you remember the boundary and ditch that line of thinking. Follow up with compassion. This isn’t an easy practice, but it’s a powerful one.
MAKE TIME TO NURTURE YOURSELF + TO BE NURTURED BY OTHERS
Human babies are considered “unusually helpless” — with their complete dependence on caregivers. As a new mama, I have been shocked at just how disruptive even a small trapped burp can be to my little one. With the frequency and urgency of our baby’s needs dictating our days, it’s so key to find ways to also receive nurturing.
This can look like: a partner bringing breakfast (and perhaps some coffee!) to you in bed, taking a shower while partner/helper watches the baby, negotiating a schedule with partner/helpers so that you can have scheduled breaks throughout the week, doing things that fill your cup while you’re with your baby (listening to a podcast, stretching, putting on music you love, eating something yummy while you feed your little one). Get creative! How can you and your circle pour into you?
WORK WITH A THERAPIST
Sometimes we just can’t find enough internal resources on our own. I created a guide for how to find a good therapist, and how to get the most out of the experience. Make sure to find a therapist who makes you feel extremely safe in their presence!
PRACTICE BEING IN THE BODY
It’s way, way too easy to hang out in the mind and to pass judgment on the body. However, safety happens when we practice ways of just experiencing the body (without judging it). Read on for ways to embark on healing embodiment exercises specifically designed for postpartum!
Embodiment practices with Elizabeth Capps
Elizabeth Capps is a certified doula, 200 RYT and 85 hour prenatal/postpartum yoga instructor serving Pottstown, PA and the surrounding area. She is a mother to two daughters, a 4-year-old and a 7-month-old. When Elizabeth had her first daughter in 2020, she experienced tremendous longing for community. This was a catalyst to her working more closely with expecting parents and parents to young children.
Elizabeth is dedicated to creating a safe space for mothers to share their experiences and move their body in ways to promote healing.
Here, Elizabeth shares several ways to lovingly connect with the body in those crucial weeks and months postpartum.
DIAPHRAGMATIC BREATH — AKA “BELLY BREATH”
This is a great way to connect back to the body after giving birth. This breathing exercise can take as little as 5 minutes to complete and can be so beneficial for the pelvic floor.
Find a comfortable position either sitting upright or laying back supported by pillows.
Place hands where baby used to be, on the belly.
Take a slow inhale through your nose. Feel your belly and rib cage expand.
Exhale, breathing out slowly through the mouth. Feel the belly sink back down and draw the ribs back in.
With each breath see if you can relax your jaw, shoulders and forehead. Imagine your pelvic floor lengthening and your sitz bones moving away from each other with each inhale.
✿ This is a great breathing exercise to do with baby on your chest in a reclined position supported by firm pillows or to your comfort. I always recommend this as a great way to get some skin to skin time in with baby. In this way you are heart to heart with baby connecting through the deep breathing and allowing your nervous systems to settle together.
PRIORITIZE FRESH AIR
Getting some sunshine and fresh air can be incredibly healing for you and baby during early postpartum days. This might look different for everyone. For some it might be opening a sunny window where you and baby can sit comfortably. For me it was walking barefoot outside holding baby in a way to get some sun or in a soft carrier. While outside I would do a short meditation.
Taking in a few cleansing breaths. Inhale through the nose, feeling shoulders rise. Long exhale from the mouth, letting go of shoulders and any tension.
Soften your gaze and feel the sun on your skin, hear birds singing and feel your feet grounded to the earth.
Repeating any short affirmations that resonate if you. Some of my favorites are: “I breathe in healing energy. I breathe out pain and tension”; “I am loved, I am seen, I am supported”; “I am held by all the mamas that have walked this path before me. I am not alone."
Three yoga poses that can be done while in bed
KNEELING CAT/COW
This can be done in bed or on a yoga mat. Kneeling avoids adding any stress to the core or pelvic floor.
Inhale to open through the heart space and the chest. Roll shoulders back and soften elbows.
Exhale tuck chin downward, bring shoulders forward and stretch the space between shoulder blades.
Repeat 5 times and notice how your mid-to-upper back feels.
CHILDS POSE
From a kneeling position, bring big toes together and open knees as much as is comfortable.
Exhale and send hips back towards feet.
Inhale rock forward and add any movement, such as swaying side to side if needed.
Exhale, send hips back and walk hands forward.
✿ Add a firm pillow between your knees for extra support and expansion through your back.
SUPINE THORACIC ROTATION
Laying on your back, bring your knees to right side.
Open your arms out to your sides like the letter T.
On an exhale, close the left arm to right arm.
Inhale to open left arm back out to the side.
✿ Think opening and closing like a book. Repeat each side.
The postpartum period is a time of healing and adjusting for both you and baby. Your body has been through a lot and taking this time seriously to heal and rest will greatly impact long term health and wellbeing.
If you'd like to practice with Elizabeth, she teaches regularly at Adaptive Healing Yoga in Phoenixville. These classes are pre-post natal yoga, safe for all trimesters and babies are welcome! Fridays from 9:30-10:30am and every other Sunday 11-12pm. Visit Elizabeth’s website, and follow her on Instagram!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jaclyn Zeal is a licensed marriage and family therapist, specializing in helping women and couples develop more embodied, trusting relationships with themselves and each other. Jaclyn has a solo private practice and operates out of a wellness center in Royersford, PA. Learn more about Jaclyn, and her services and fees.