This is part 2 of a 3-part series about social media. While this topic could warrant an entire book, this series focuses on building awareness around social media usage/habits, understanding the negative consequences, and part 3 will tackle practical steps to setting more boundaries around screen time.

Over on my Insta, I posted a question in my story recently asking folks how they feel about their relationship with social media. The overwhelming response was something along the lines of: “I’m on it too much, it wastes a lot of my time, but I just can’t seem to stop scrolling.”

This is the era we live in, where a new universal truth is that screen time is a slippery slope. And the thing is — social media has been such a beautiful gift in certain ways. It’s given us a new way to build community, find like-minded folks, get inspired by artists and makers, take the microphone away from traditional forms of media and it has given a plurality of voices a platform. We also can’t ignore that each of these positive attributes has its own dark underbelly, where information has been spread and proliferated in fear and hate.

It seems that the tricky part is limiting our consumption

So this brings us to consider the question:

Why is it soooo addicting?

Dr. Anna Lembke, a world-leading expert on addiction, has strong opinions on the topic. In her book Dopamine Nation, Lembke writes that our screens have become a “‘modern-day hypodermic needle’: we turn to it for quick hits, seeking attention, validation and distraction with each swipe, like and tweet. Since the turn of the millennium, behavioural (as opposed to substance) addictions have soared. Every spare second is an opportunity to be stimulated, whether by entering the TikTok vortex, scrolling Instagram, swiping through Tinder or bingeing on porn, online gambling and e-shopping.”

Yet despite the endless opportunities for ‘fun’ to be found on our phones, “the data shows we’re less and less happy,” Lembke says.

Our brains are constantly being shaped by our experiences. Consider how this works with social media: “when an individual gets a notification, such as a like or mention, the brain receives a rush of dopamine and sends it along reward pathways, causing the individual to feel pleasure.” These immediate rewards cause the brain to rewire itself “through this positive reinforcement, making people desire likes, retweets, and emojis.” If you watched The Social Dilemma, this next part may sound familiar. Trevor Haynes writes that “platforms like Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram leverage the very same neural circuitry used by slot machines and cocaine to keep us using their products as much as possible.”

This dopamine-fueled feedback loop keeps us coming back to our phones for more. But let’s also consider the other implications here. The more time we spend on screens, the more we are absorbing other people’s value systems. We are also served SO MANY ads encouraging us to buy things — and, these ads are informed by intimate knowledge of our preferences and lifestyle. The technology is studying us, learning our likes/dislikes and our guilty pleasures.

What is social media doing to my mental health?

Clearly, there is immense curiosity about this subject, since there have been more than 250 studies conducted about digital media use in the past decade. Studies are starting to show that some of the potentially harmful impacts of “extensive screen time” include “heightened attention-deficit symptoms, impaired emotional and social intelligence, technology addiction, social isolation, impaired brain development, and disrupted sleep.” Research also suggests that “intensive interactions” with social media is actually changing our brains, including “gray-matter alteration of brain areas involved in addictive behavior” and “profound effects on neuronal structures in the human brain.”

This “extensive screen time” isn’t as much as you’d think. One study involving just under 2,000 young adults (ages 19 to 32) “found that using social media 2 or more hours each day doubled the odds for perceived social isolation compared with use less than 30 minutes each day.” The implications are alarming when we consider that the average American spends 2 hours and 24 minutes on social media a day.

Reckoning with our deeper needs

So we’ve learned so far that social media is indeed quite addicting, and that it can adversely impact our mental health if we aren’t mindful of our consumption habits. I want to also address that there are often deeper needs that prompt us to keep going back on social media — even when we know it might not be good for us.

In reflecting on the process of writing his book Chasing the Scream, Johann Hari shares: I was taught by the people I met – and by the growing scientific evidence – that we are all more vulnerable to addiction now because we are increasingly isolated from each other, and from the things that give us meaning.

Hari concludes that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety; it’s connection.

Many of us keep going back to social media (or any of the places we spend time in the virtual world) looking for that sense of connection. To feel a sense of belonging. To observe other humans. To avoid feelings of isolation. To avoid feeling at all. So as we wrap today’s post, I’d love for you to consider this question: if I took a pause before opening that app, what might I notice about my deeper needs?

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About the author: Jaclyn Zeal is a licensed marriage and family therapist, specializing in helping women and couples develop more embodied, trusting relationships with themselves and each other. Jaclyn has a solo private practice and operates out of a wellness center in Royersford, PA. Learn more about Jaclyn, and her services and fees.

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